


The Transfer Agent (ON HIATUS)

by Izzzy_bel



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: BDSM, Bondage, Daddy Kink, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I dont like gags but if you want I'll include them, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, Not really slow burn, Platonic BDSM, Reader and Hotch are switches, Reader-Insert, Romantic Fluff, Rough Sex, Sexual Submission, Sexual Tension, So get ready for some fun times!, They get together in like chapter 2, agent reader, at first, but then definitely not, romantic BDSM
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2020-11-22 18:47:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20878949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzzy_bel/pseuds/Izzzy_bel
Summary: This is my first work on AO3, it will get better, I promise! :) Also the title sucks, but I promise it's a good story!Y/N Y/L/N is a woman with a troubled past- her mother died of mysterious circumstances, her step-mother is detached and snarky about everything she does, and her father has only ever cared for appearances. Y/N has finally gotten away from her past and has a new job at the BAU, where she instantly feels something towards her boss. What will happen as Y/N is eventually forced to confront her past she thought she left behind?This is a reader insert, but the reader has a backstory for plot purposes. The reader is female! I tried to not describe them so much to leave it open for your imagination! Hope you enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is mentions of rape and incest in this chapter, as well as abuse. It is strictly for backstory purposes, but if you are triggered by these sort of events, please proceed with caution! Thank you for reading!

“Alright, BAU… Bullpen… No, no… Aha!” I muttered to myself, noticing how there wasn’t anyone on the floor yet. I took the chance to inspect the floor, finding it having a fairly simple layout of desks and the bathrooms to the left, like at the other FBI building I used to work at. The equipment I could see was plain, all being grey or black.   
“Well, the government isn’t known for its creativity,” I conceded, wondering what I was expecting when I arrived at the floor. A party? A welcome cake? I chuckled at myself and shook my head, looking at my watch. I realized I was fairly early, which was probably why I could practically see a tumbleweed go by on the deserted floor. A man walked up behind me as I stood looking around, and I realized I did not know what to do now.  
“Excuse me, this is my first day at the BAU, do you know who I should talk to?” I politely asked the man.   
“That would be Agent Hotchner, he isn’t here yet. Are you Agent Y/N Y/L/N?” The man said. I quickly inspected him, immediately thinking about how I could tell he was a little on the awkward side. He was tall and lanky, but not in a sick way- everything suited him and gave him a charming air, one I was instantly drawn to and thought was very friendly and reassuring. He was dressed pretty simply, in a suit shirt and a vest with his briefcase on his shoulder.  
“Yes, nice to meet you…” I tried to hint for the man to tell me his name as I held out my hand. His eyes flickered to my hand then back to my face.  
“Dr. Spencer Reid, you can just call me Reid. You are pretty early, the rest of the team should be here soon. Hotch is on his way,” Reid took my hand and shook it once stiffly, then went to his desk and placed his stuff down.  
“Is there a place for coffee or anything around here?” I eyed the floor, mostly just seeing desks but no real full break room.   
“Yeah, over here,” Reid guided me over to one of the corners of the floor where there was a break room I hadn’t noticed before.   
“Thank God, I thought I was going to have to quit this job already! I am dying for some coffee, my brewer at home broke and I ordered a new one, but it hasn’t come in yet.”  
“I love coffee, too. Hey, did you know coffee statistics show that among coffee drinkers, the average consumption in the United States is 3.1 cups of coffee per day?” Reid busied himself pouring a cup, then dumping massive amounts of sugar in said coffee while I watched in amusement.  
“You have a statistic for how fast you’ll have a sugar crash?” I chuckled, watching as Reid’s cheeks turned a little red.   
“Well, no, but the use of sugar as a medicine dates back at least as far as ninth century Iraq, where it was combined with fruits and spices to make medicinal syrups, powders, and infusions.”  
“Really?” I half-listened, utterly fascinated with the seemingly endless random factoids shoved into Reid’s brain as I poured myself a cup. I put in one sweetener packet, and one creamer packet, stirring it carefully before taking a sip and sighing happily.  
“Agent Y/L/N-”  
“Just Y/N is fine, Reid, really,” I smiled at him.  
“Y/N,” Reid mended, “Have you heard much about our team?”  
“Well, I used to be on another profiling team in California, but I requested a transfer here to Quantico after hearing how well you guys worked together. But, besides knowing you guys are seriously good at your job, I am pretty much in the dark. I want to get to know everyone fairly, not because I heard something from a random secretary across the country, y’know?” I explained, sipping on my drink occasionally. Reid nodded, squinting at me occasionally as he analyzed me. I guess he thought I was staying non-committal on purpose, but I truly hadn’t listened to what people had told me. I think it’s extremely unfair to trust other people’s words for something like impressions of people.  
“Good. We are pretty close, and I suspect you’ll see that pretty soon. I’m always curious as to what our reputation is.”  
“Reid?” An all-too familiar voice called from somewhere on the floor, and we both walked out to see a blonde woman wearing a bright colored dress.  
“Garcia! You’re here early,” Reid started, but as soon as Garcia saw me, her eyes widened. Her mouth gaped open like a fish out of water, and I smiled, still processing this scenario. She rushed to me, whatever she needed from Reid long forgotten.  
“Y/N Y/L/N! Oh my gosh!”   
“Pen?” I gasped, letting her practically run me over. I scrambled to hold her tight as I felt myself start to tear up. Years without this wonderful woman in my life, and now she just happened to work at the same place I now work at? I let Penelope hold me as I shot off a quick prayer to God, telling him I would be extra good this week to make up for this.   
“I didn’t know it was you! I only saw your last name on the report! Oh, sweetie, I’ve missed you!!!” Pen squeezed me tighter, until I wheezed dramatically, finally pulling away with a huge smile decorating my face.   
“Garcia, why are you suffocating the newest agent?” A new, sterner voice spoke up. Instantly, that voice made me gasp- there was something in it that shook me to my core.  
“Sorry sir! Y/N/N is a childhood friend,” Penelope finally let me go, and I steadied myself instantly, making it look like I was leaning against a desk. My heart thumped in a way it never had, and I had to take a deep breath before I made myself look like an idiot.  
“Agent Y/L/N, nice to have you here. I’d like for you to meet me in my office,” Without another word, the man with the mesmerizing voice walked into a room, not giving me much of a look at him. As he walked away, I stared at his back and shoulders, for some reason wanting nothing more than to chase after him.  
“Guess Hotch wants to give you the introduction. You better go ahead, the rest of the team should be getting here soon. Reid, I have some more documentation for you about the newest development in schizophrenia you wanted me to look into,” Garcia took over, grabbing onto Reid and shooting me one more excited look.  
“Alright, thanks baby girl,” I called over my shoulder. I entered Hotchner’s office to find him at his desk, working on some paperwork. As he filled out the paperwork, I saw the tenseness in his body. It seemed to go from his neck all the way down to his calves, and I yearned to be the one to help him with it.   
‘This man has me whipped and I met him thirty seconds ago!’ My emotions ranged from anger to shame in myself, and I couldn’t help but wonder if this was the true love people talked about. I had never felt so strongly for another person immediately after meeting them, and it threw me off of my game. I was having a seriously hard time staying calm and collected.  
“Agent Hotchner? I’m Y/N Y/L/N, pleasure to meet you,” I tried to keep the quiver out of my voice as I offered him my hand. He took it, standing, before nodding at a chair behind me.  
“Allow me to be the first to officially welcome you to the team,” Hotchner said, “We are glad to have you here. I’ve heard great things, I am sure you won’t disappoint. I'm Aaron Hotchner, you clearly know that, but you can call me Hotch.”  
“Thank you sir, I am glad to be here. You can call me Y/N or Y/L/N, I don’t really care either way. I’ve never been one for formalities,” I smile at him, gazing at his stern but attractive face, until I noticed a picture on his desk of him and a child, “Is that your son?”  
“Yes, his name is Jack.” A small smile graces Hotch’s face as he thinks about his son, and I instantly decide I love the look on him. It makes his entire countenance lighter, but not any less confident or composed. His eyes seem brighter and shine under the fluorescent lights as he gazes at the framed photograph. The photo has Jack on Hotch’s back, and both of them are wearing casual clothes, smiling at the camera with huge smiles that extend practically to their eyes. It is almost like one of those stock photos, but so unique in how it makes Hotch look ten times younger, despite it looking as though it was taken recently.  
“He is precious! How old is he?” I ask, smiling at Hotch.  
“He is five, six in four months,” Hotch’s voice is softer as he replies, finally looking at me again.   
“A great age. Well, nice to meet you, Hotch. Is there anyone specific you want me to stay around until I get a better sense of here?” I make myself focus on business to keep myself from doing or saying anything stupid.  
“Not really, seeing as you’ve already been on a team you know how we work. Just ask Garcia or Reid where your desk is, they can certainly show you, but there should be a name plate already on it anyway if you prefer to find it yourself. The rest of the team knows to expect you today, so they will probably introduce themselves. Did you bring your go bag?” Hotch asks.  
“Yes, sir. It’s in the break room, I believe, next to the coffee maker,” I chuckle as I remember how Garcia’s presence made me leave it there.  
“Not the ideal place for it. Put it in your bottom drawer of your desk, that way you never lose it. You can go ahead and get started with your day, or if you and Garcia want to catch up first that’s fine as well. Just get at least one piece of paperwork done today, so I can tell Strauss you are working,” Hotch doesn’t smile, but his joke (if that’s what it can be called) still lands. I smile at him again before getting up, shooting him a thank you, then promptly leaving his office. Once outside onto the main floor, I sigh, looking for Reid or Garcia and feeling like I finally got out of the principals office. Reid is at a desk looking at a file, and I go to him.  
“Reid? Do you know where my desk is at?” I ask him.  
“It’s this one, facing me. I got your go bag from the break room and put it in the bottom left desk drawer,” Reid doesn’t even look up from the file, but I brush it off as I sit down and thank him. A minute after I do, Garcia comes bounding over, settling herself in the seat next to my desk.  
“Miss Y/N Y/L/N, you have some explaining to do! Tell me everything that has happened in your life since college, go!” Garcia doesn’t even let me catch a break as she bounces in the chair.   
“Woah, woah, Pen! First, you are explaining how you landed yourself this job, then we will get to me!” I laugh, feeling my cheerful self come out, as it always does when being around Penelope.  
“Fun story babe, I hacked the database and they offered me a job, and because of that I met my chocolate thunder, who you may have to compete with,” Garcia’s eyes wander to the elevator as it opens, revealing two women and a man. The women are blonde and brunette, both looks extremely nice, but the man caught my attention. He is extremely attractive and buff, and his skin is dark and even.  
“Chocolate thunder?” I laugh at the name.   
“Yes, also known as Derek Morgan,” She smiles as he walks closer.  
“You’re talking about me? All good things, I hope, baby girl,” Morgan smiles.   
“Always, sweetie,” Garcia smiles and stands to hug Morgan, before he looks to me and sticks his hand out.  
“Derek Morgan at the ready. You must be Agent Y/L/N.”  
I take his outstretched hand and give it a firm shake, letting it go as I say, “Just Y/N or Y/L/N is fine. Nice to meet you, Morgan.”  
“And this is Prentiss and JJ,” Garcia is bouncing once more, “Guys, this is Y/N, my old friend.”  
“Old friend?” Morgan’s eyebrows raise, but I ignore him for now and greet Prentiss and JJ. Both of them are nice and seem calm and collected, but I can tell all of their interests are piqued at Garcia’s and my relationship.  
“We used to be best friends until about college, we grew up together,” I supply as Morgan waits for an answer. I glance next to him to see from the open blinds that Hotch is watching our group, particularly Morgan it seems. I smile a little as he looks at me, before going back to his work without acknowledging me.  
“Nice to hear you two found each other again,” Prentiss goes to her desk, starting to settle down.  
It takes a few minutes more of Morgan asking questions about me and everyone listening to the answers before we all settle down, and it is at that moment that Hotch walks out of his office briskly, calling, “We got a case. Briefing room, 5 minutes.”  
I instantly stand and follow Reid to a room with a large round conference table and chairs. Reid sits and I grab a spot next to him.  
“Reid? How are you so smart?” I hesitantly ask in case it is something he doesn’t like to talk about.  
“Well, I have an IQ of 187, eidetic memory, and I can read 20,000 words per minute, if that’s what you’re asking,” He replies, a little confused by my question.   
“Yeah, well- no, I guess I just- I don’t know, it’s crazy that you can do that!” I stumble, chuckling at myself. Reid smiles a little, and more people start to arrive in the room, including a man I hadn’t met before.  
“Agent Y/L/N, David Rossi,” I stand and we shake hands, “At your service. Nice to have you here.”  
“Nice to be here, Rossi,” I smile at him, instantly loving how soft he is. He reminds me of a lovable dad, one I could only dream of having.   
“Alright, this one’s bad, let’s get started,” Hotch walks in with JJ behind him as she distributes files. I nod at her as she sits down, and work to get myself in a professional headspace.  
“So far, there has been two families brutally murdered in Newton, Iowa, and a car crash that could be the same unsub. The unsub appears to be killing the mothers last,” Garcia’s voice is heard as the screens in the room show pictures of the crime scenes. I wince at first, but then compose myself and get it together after Morgan shoots me a curious glance.   
“So, the mothers could be significant in his life, maybe his own mother is negligent or he holds a grudge against her?” Prentiss suggests.  
“Could be. The mothers are brutally bludgeoned, indicating extreme emotion,” Morgan supplies.   
I look at the cut on one of the mans torso, “The cut was done post-mortem, right?”  
“Yeah, the fathers torso was cut in the second family and at the car crash, the reverends arms were cut.”  
“What are you thinking, Y/L/N?” Rossi eyes me as I thoughtfully look at the photos.  
“He’s dissecting them. Post-mortem, he isn’t into torture, except for the mother. The deaths themselves aren’t terribly brutal, but he makes the mother watch. And he’s sporadic, the car crash is unlike his family pattern,” I murmur but loud enough for everyone to hear, “If he hasn’t already started escalating, he will soon.”  
“No time to waste, then. Wheels up in thirty,” Hotch nods once in finality, then leaves the room. I head to my desk to grab my go bag and figure I can wait on the plane.   
“Morgan? Are you going to the plane now?” I ask him as he walks away.  
“Yeah, you want to follow? I’ll show you around,” He offers, taking my go bag. I thank him and allow him to lead me to different places, including showing me where the cleanest bathrooms in the building are, which I thanked him profusely for, half-jokingly and half-seriously. We get along well, and I can already feel myself bonding with him on a really friendly but deep level. He’s like a brother, but a nice one.  
“And last stop, the jet. It’s out back, there are a couple of government planes that operate here,” morgan informs me as we step into the elevator. He presses the button labeled “R”, and we wait for a few seconds in silence.  
“Tell me about before you got here,” Morgan said suddenly towards the end of our elevator ride.  
I chuckled, “I don’t know what to tell you, Morgan. I had an unusually normal life,” I lie, being quite good at it from too many years of practice, “My mom died when I was two, my dad remarried, and I am an only child, no step siblings or anything. I guess that could be something strange, but I don’t remember much about it since I was so young.”  
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that happened to you,” Morgan didn’t seem to know what to say, which I understood, so I let us go in silence until we were on the jet with everyone else.  
“Thanks Morgan. Stuff happens, I guess. Have we heard anything about any new possible victims?” I asked, looking at the case file.  
“No, nothing at the moment, but the cuts are pretty abnormal. They don’t fit a pattern, like you said, Y/N,” Reid has a frown on his face as he thinks deeply.  
“Well, when we get there, Prentiss and Morgan, I want you two to go to the crime scenes, see what you can find. Y/N and Reid, you can come with Rossi and I and set up a station at the local P.D.. Rossi and I will talk to the coroner and other officers to see what we can gather,” Hotch doles out roles, and I smile at Reid when I realize we will be partners for this. He smiles back a little, and I go back to my phone, my mind still reeling at this abnormal case.

“It just doesn’t make sense, Reid!” I exclaim as Reid studies a map. I have the pictures spread out, and as I look, something starts to jump out at me. The family dynamic, the way the mothers are left last, two children, son and daughter… The boys are completely beaten and bruised, but it’s done before death...  
“But what if…” I mumble, starting to rearrange the pictures. I hear Hotch and Rossi behind me come in and talk to Reid, but my mind is reeling from a possibility that popped in my head.  
“Criminal record would make sense… Dissection and curiosity, why hadn’t I…? Mom, no regard for dad, the boys tortured...” As everything goes together in my mind, I grow quiet, staring at the new picture I painted in my mind.  
“Y/L/N? What is it?” Hotch asked.  
I turn to them, my face lit up, “We are profiling this guy completely wrong! It’s not a man- it’s a teenage boy,” At the silence from the three of them, I continue, “Look at it this way. No one would hesitate to help a teenage boy out. How did he get in the car or the house? He pretended to be homeless, or need help, or something! No person would think to worry about safety. So, he gets access to the victims in a vulnerable position, like a car or a home environment. He’s beaten the boys, and that could be him internalizing something, or some sort of guilt and self- punishment. However, he clearly hates the mom as he tortures them by leaving them for last. The dad is nothing special, just a stabbing, meaning he isn’t the main target or there’s some frustration there, but not a terribly big amount. The dissection? He’s curious, he’s exploring. A kid like this definitely had previous behavioral issues, maybe even foster care or something,” By the end I am smiling, feeling as though I’m onto something.  
“Call Garcia,” Hotch directs me, “I’ll get Morgan and Prentiss back here to deliver the profile.”  
I deflate a little, expecting something more encouraging, but I tell myself that we are in the thick of a case, and ‘good job’ can come a little later on. I’ve always craved reassurance, and I knew Hotch would make it worse.  
“Hey, baby girl,” I put Garcia on speaker as I call her.  
“Lovely Y/N/N, what can I do for you?”  
“I want you to search for teenage boys in the area that have had previous violent behavioral problems. Maybe include foster care or counseling. We are looking for a boy who’s had some sort of trauma.”  
“Also get them to be within a mile radius of Bakers Street, that’s the current trajectory with the households and the car,” Reid supplies, trying to narrow the search.  
“Guys, I’ve got a hit on a Jeremy Sayer, his dad left at ten, has a sister, and mother… Oh!” Garcia gasps.  
“What, Garcia?” I press, my fingers starting to tap against the table.   
“He’s been in foster care before, left at a hospital by his mom after he broke his sisters arm. After being left there, two weeks later- Monday- the first killing happened. Criminal record… Long list here- three counts of assault, four counts of battery, one sexual assault, one of animal cruelty, and four petty theft. Medical records indicate Jeremy consumed his twin in the womb.”  
“The mom could have resented him for it.” I suggest.  
“There’s no time to deliver a profile. Let’s investigate Jeremy first. Reid? What is it?” Rossi says.  
Reid was bent over the map, his eyebrows furrowed deeply, “Garcia, they live on Bakers Street?” At her ‘yes’, he continues, “He’s heading there. I think he’s going to try to kill his family.”  
“Everyone on high alert, let’s go. Garcia, what’s the address? Rossi, give Morgan and Prentiss an update and send them to Baker Street,” Hotch is deathly serious as we all outfit in our bulletproof vests and check our guns. We all pile into a van and take off to the house.  
When we get there, Hotch suggests for Morgan to go in with me, and I immediately agree. This case was close to home, and I wanted nothing more than to help this family, especially the sister. I think Hotch picked up on my want, because as I approached the house, he gave me a knowing look and warned me to be careful.  
Morgan and I go up to the door, and Morgan bangs on it.  
“Ms. Sayer? We are with the FBI, are you there?” I say clearly. I hear something behind the door, a shuffling sound, and a muffled scream.  
“He’s already in there,” I whisper to Morgan. He nods and gets his gun out, which I immediately do as well. After we nod at each other, Morgan kicks down the door, and we both enter, trying to clear the house. Morgan goes to the left, where the dining room and kitchen are, and I go to the right, down a hallway until I reach the living room. When I get there, I find the mother in one of the chairs, tied up with rope and staring at something in front of her. I see Jeremy there as well, holding a knife to his sister's throat. His sister is looking at me, terrified as she screams through her gag. Her hands are bound behind her, and it must be painful as her arm is still in a cast.   
“Jeremy, I’m Y/N Y/L/N with the FBI. You need to put the knife down,” I speak calmly, keeping my eyes on him even after I feel movement behind me.   
“No! I’m sick of her treating Carly better than me!” Jeremy says vehemently.   
“This is not the right way to solve that, and you know it. Jeremy, I am so sorry your mother treated you so terribly. You didn’t deserve it, I know you didn’t,” My voice is soft and caring, because this scene is truly heartbreaking to me.   
“Tell her what I did,” Jeremy turns to his mother, pressing the knife more into his sisters neck, “Tell her!”  
The mom is sobbing, and she shakes her head.  
“I killed my brother, say that I did it!” Jeremy yells in frustration.   
“Jeremy, you didn’t know what you were doing. You were just a developing fetus. It is unfair to blame yourself for that.”  
He looks at me, “You really think so?”  
“I know so. I know you can be so much more, a lovely young man, but you need to put the knife down, Jeremy. Your sister loves you and never did anything to hurt you, she doesn’t deserve this.”  
“What’s going to happen to me when I do? You’re just going to shoot me!” He yells, starting to ease pressure off of his sisters neck.  
“You’ve killed two families and another person, Jeremy. You will go to prison, but you won’t be dead if you work with me here. Trust me, Jeremy. I only want what’s best for you to get the help you need,” I know being honest with him will be the best policy, and I even untrain my gun on him, holstering it. I know I shouldn’t but I see this action makes him pause and look at me. There is practically steam coming out of his ears as he thinks at a rapid pace.  
He nods, looking at the floor, as he finally lowers the knife.  
“Now put it on the floor, Jeremy, just like that,” I ease towards Jeremy, just one foot in front of another at a slow but steady pace. He looks at me as I kick the knife away, then go behind him.  
“You really care about me?” He looks up at me with Doe eyes as I handcuff him. My mind wonders how he would have turned out if his mother hadn’t tormented him. He could have been so sweet and understanding, but he grew up thinking the world was nothing but hopeless. I have a flashback for a brief second of me as a little girl as my dad yelled at me for getting a stain on my dress. I remember his hand coming down on my cheek, and I blink away tears subtly and quickly.   
“Of course I do, Jeremy. You’re a good kid,” I smiled at him, carefully maneuvering his hands so he is comfortably restrained in the handcuffs.  
“Agent Y/L/N…” He mutters to himself.  
Morgan comes over and takes Jeremy, and he escorts him to the car as I go to the mom and daughter. They are already untied, and JJ is talking to Carly. I smile at her as she hugs JJ.   
“Y/N,” Rossi comes over, “Seems you are perfect for this. You handled that well.”  
“Thanks, Rossi. I’d like to think I did pretty good,” I watch as Morgan puts Jeremy in a squad car while we walk outside.  
“You did. I think you’ll be a great member of the team,” He looked at me thoughtfully as I scanned around for the rest of the team. When I saw Hotch, I felt my heart skip a beat, and a smile grew on my face. He was with Prentiss and Reid, and I was glad to see that they looked okay. There was just something about Hotch that made me fawn over him. I knew realistically nothing could happen, as I still barely knew anything about him and he was my coworker, but I was ok for now being his friend.   
“You got your eye on someone?” Rossi figures.  
“What? No, I’m just glad to see everyone is ok,” I supplied.  
“Ok,” Rossi looked convinced, but he still inspected me for a moment, finally nodding to himself.  
“I would really like it if you could not profile me, Rossi. It’s rude and an invasion of privacy,” I bristled, thinking about Rossi finding out everything about me. I walked away then, leaving Rossi there as I headed over to the squad car where Jeremy was, with the window down. Morgan was talking to him, and I didn’t catch the last of their conversation.  
“Agent Y/L/N!” Jeremy seemed glad to see me again.  
“Jeremy. You take care of yourself, ok? I want to see you get your act together after you do your time,” I looked at him sternly.   
“Yes, ma’am,” He smiled at me for the first time, and I could have sworn this teenage boy had just come from church. It was a total 180 from the murderer we had been chasing this whole time, and I shook my head as I once again started to be reminded of my past.   
“Alright, scrub,” I ruffled his hair, “You gotta go. See you around, kid,” I nodded at the deputy in the front seat, and they took off a minute later, Morgan and I standing and watching as Jeremy was driven away.  
“Are children cases always this heartbreaking?” I half-joked with Morgan.  
“Yeah. It’s tough that this was your first case. But you handled it really well. You are a good negotiator, Y/L/N.”  
“Thanks, Morgan. This was a good case. At least we got to save the sister. The mother is still a piece of shit,” I said, watching as they left the house with JJ. Things were starting to wind down as police cars took off and the paramedics looked over Carly and her mom.  
“Yeah, no argument there,” Morgan scoffed.  
“It makes you wonder what Jeremy could have been if his mother had not done what she did. It’s sad, you know?” I remarked, crossing my arms.  
“C’mere, kid,” Morgan said, pulling me in for a hug. I took it, breathing in his scent of aftershave and a subtle spray of cologne. I basked in the comfort a good ol’ hug brought me, before I reluctantly pulled away.  
“Thanks, I needed that, Morgan,” I smiled at him.  
“Sounds like this case is hitting too close to home.”  
I paused, looking at him. He looked back, watching as I bristled. He noticed, obviously, and took me in for another hug as he said, “You don’t have to share, but we’re a team, Y/N. Of anyone, we have your back. I have your back. Garcia has your back all the way in Quantico. When your ready, I’ll listen,” Morgan talked softly as he rubbed my back.   
“Thanks, Morgan.”  
“No problem, kid. Now come on, we did our job and it’s time to go back home. You got any plans when we do?” Morgan and I walked over to where the rest of the team were, some pretending they weren’t watching us, others having their own conversation. Hotch’s eyes lingered on Morgan, before he looked at me again, inspecting me for injury. After he found none, I smiled at him, and the left side of his lip curled up a little, which I think was his smile. He walked away then, and we all climbed into various vehicles to head home.

It wasn’t until hours later, on the plane back to Quantico, that Hotch bothered to interact with me. Everyone was asleep except for me and him. He was on one end of the plane, and I was on the other. He was reading, and I was looking out of the window, curled up on a couch with a blanket over my bottom half. On my lap, I had a long-discarded romance BDSM book that I was sure Hotch recognized, as when he first saw it his eyes grew wide and he looked at me in disbelief. But I had quickly grown distracted from the story of a dashing, mysterious dom and his bratty submissive. I was thinking about Jeremy, but mostly about myself. I saw a part of me in Jeremy, and I wasn’t sure if I was even scared of it. The things he went through with his mother and the things I went through with my father were similar, and I sadly was able to empathize. I started thinking of my father, about the times we fought that led to me getting beaten. I remember the time I stayed one minute past curfew, and how he was waiting for me in the living room with a belt.  
I remember the look in his eyes. His sadistic pleasure he was receiving from it. The lamp next to his chair he would always occupy when I was in trouble. It was a huge armchair, made so I could easily get across his knee so he could thrash me. I remember his sickly sweet tone as he counted the lashes.   
‘Almost to 50, little girl, then you can get a reward,” My father coaxed a thirteen year old me as I cried on his lap. When he was finally done, he left my pants on the ground, taking down my underwear and easing his hands between my legs. After he used me, I sat in my room for hours, scared of every little thing that moved. The darkness that overtook the foot of my bed became a terrible man coming to take me in the middle of the night.  
‘This will teach you to make a fool of me again, little girl,’ his voice rang in my ears, and I found myself shaking as I pulled the blanket closer to my body. I was used to remembering by now, and always what happened was I shivered, took a second to collect myself and come back to my senses, and then I was fine. My therapist said it was how PTSD affected me and made me dissociate with my current world and to the past.  
After finally coming to my senses, I saw that Aaron had moved to sit in front of me. His face was concerned, a frown on him.  
“Y/N, are you alright?” Hotch leans forward and puts a hand on my knee. I take his hand and grasp it in mine, holding onto it tightly. If I was in my right mind, I wouldn’t dare touch Hotch like that, but since I was in the middle of a bad headspace, it seemed only natural.   
“H-Hotch?” I asked as I continue to come to my senses. My grip on him tightens as I look around. For a second, I do not recognize I am in the jet or who the sleeping people around us are, but I am still able to process Aaron near me.   
“Y/N, look at me. Do you know where you are?” Hotch spoke calmly, but as I search his eyes, I find that he looks panicked.  
“Aaron? Wh- where am I?” I almost screamed as I clutched his hand until he winced.  
“Y/N, you’re on the jet. We’re heading back to Quantico after we solved a case,” His other hand clutches my chin as I look away from him, forcing me to look back at him, “Look at me, sweetie. You’re safe. Do you understand? Everythings ok.”  
“J-jet?” I stare at him until recognition flashes through my face, “Jeremy. The… dissection. The team! Morgan…” My thoughts and words become jumbled as I decrease the pressure on Hotch’s hand. He still doesn’t move it, instead lets me hold onto it as I continue to come back.  
“Thank you, Hotch,” I spoke quietly after a minute of silence, looking up to find him inspecting me. There is something in his eyes that make my heart flutter, and it is when I blush and look down that I realize our hands were still intertwined. I gasp and release his hand immediately, the light blush on my face turning into a deeper one as I choke out, “S-sorry, sir. I- I didn’t mean to…”  
“It’s alright, Y/N. Do you… want to talk about it?”  
I shake my head as a couple tears fall out of my eyes, “No, sir. I-I’m fine,” I feel myself start to slip into a submissive headspace, something I haven’t experienced since I left the BDSM scene during college. It is deliriously disorienting, but I fight it, knowing a drop right now would be disastrous.  
“Are you sure?” Hotch’s hand comes up to my chin again, and I know he can see the spacey look in my eyes as I search his face, committing it to my memory.  
“Yes, sir,” I sigh, sinking into the couch again as I relax into a semi-subspace area of my brain.  
“Alright. You did good on this case, Y/N. Such a good girl,” Aaron starts to stroke my hair as I let my eyes close, the others sleeping so closely fading from my mind.  
“Thank you, sir. I pleased you?”   
“More than you know,” There is a new edge to his voice, something I have only ever heard once before in my previous dom’s voice, but I know means he is becoming more domspaced as we continue, “May I sit near you? You can lay your head on my lap if it will help you with your headspace.”  
“If it pleases you, sir, I would like that very much,” I smile, my eyes still closed even as I feel Aaron move my head and sit, then position my skull carefully on his lap, away from his crotch and more toward the knee.   
“Thank you, sir,” I mumble, curling up a fraction.  
“The pleasure is all mine, Y/N. If you ever deal with subdrop or subspace when I am around or you are alone, come to me. I will take care of you. Do you understand?” Hotch didn’t miss a beat as he said the order, his hand patiently stroking the top of my head throughout him talking.  
“Yes, sir. But will this be bad?” I couldn’t find my words, and I knew I confused Hotch for a second.  
“What do you mean, sweet girl?” He asked.  
“Will we… be… y-yellow,” I mumble, feeling myself falling asleep.  
“Ok, Yellow,” He didn’t even seem phased, “Go on, sleep, sweetheart. It’s ok. You’re safe, sleep, Y/N.”  
I drifted off, and the last thing I remember is Aaron eventually scooting away, leaving me in my peaceful rest and adjusting my blanket, making sure it covered me. 

http://www.e-importz.com/coffee-statistics.php

http://mentalfloss.com/article/68445/15-sweet-facts-about-sugar


	2. Chapter 2

It was another two months until Hotch and I even acknowledge what happened. The others remained oblivious to the stares we share across the jet, me always on my couch that would never be as comfortable as Aarons leg. I had not followed Hotch's instructions from last time, as every time I thought of them I blush and cringe. I couldn't believe I let my boss, a man I had undoubtedly no chance with, see me in such a vulnerable state. Every time since then that I slip into subspace or even subdrop, I merely let myself hang in my bed, listening to audio erotica with a dominant male with a deep voice. As a result, I felt myself get more and more depressed every day, until I found myself not being able to hold it together at my house. I would go to work, block everything except work out of my mind, move case to case, then come home and crash on the couch. It’s been days since I had a proper meal that wasn’t lunch at the BAU cafeteria, and as I looked in the mirror every morning, I saw a shadow appear on my face. I looked ashen, my eyes sunk in as dark circles took over my undereyes. It was as if I had shaken an addiction and relapsed. The withdrawal symptoms certainly felt like enough to kill me.  
On this particular morning, I felt like I was an inch away from my breaking point. I’ve gotten comfortable with the team, more relaxed with them as a family and teammates, and I didn’t put a smile on my face before I got there. It was one of those days where everything felt off- even getting into my car made me need to take a break. The thought crosses my mind to call in sick, but as quickly as the words enter my brain, they exit it. I knew if I did, Garcia, who was aware of the situation between Aaron and I, would go to him. She’s been asking me almost every day what’s wrong, and about a week ago I finally confided in her what happened. She thought it was great, a relationship blossoming, love at first sight, but I know she’s just plain crazy. I couldn’t let Garcia tell Hotch anything, especially not because I knew how it would end- me alone.   
Getting to the office was a chore, but fine for the most part. When I walked in was when I felt the exhaustion in my bones. I immediately went to my desk, collapsing on it until I felt a hand on my back. I must have fallen asleep, because as my eyes blinked open, I looked up to see Garcia’s concerned face staring back at me.   
“Y/N/N, you look like you are a breath away from death. Are you sure you should be here?”   
“I’m fine, Garcia,” I say, admittedly unconvincingly. I don’t even try to hide my bleary eyes as I look up at her, and I see hers widen in surprise and what seems to be a little fear.  
“Y/N, in my office. Now,” Hotch walks into his office briskly as soon as he steps off the elevator and sees me at my desk. I see his lips tighten and his eyes also grow larger as he does a double take. He scans my slumped body, and seems to come to a conclusion as he speedwalks to his office. He leaves his office door open for me, and I notice how Hotch sounds exactly like he did on the plane over two months ago, the voice that has haunted my dreams ever since then. I’ll admit, it shakes me to my core. For once, I feel a little at peace, knowing he is in charge. But at the same time, I am chomping at the bit. Is Aaron mad? Is he disappointed? I almost burst out crying at that thought, and a few tears do escape. I wipe them off, then trudge to Hotch’s office.   
“Yes, sir?” I say in the weakest tone I have ever heard myself use.  
“Close the door and the blinds, then sit,” He doesn’t look up at me.  
I do as he asks, then fidget on the chair.  
“You look terrible,” Hotch finally looks up at me. His face looks so… disappointed. It’s now when I realize I let myself get away from everything at the sacrifice of my hygiene. My lip quivers as my eyes grow tear-filled, and it is less than five seconds later when I start to sob. I felt all of my conflicting emotions come out in the rivers in my eyes. I curl up in the chair a fraction, similar to how I did on the couch, and Hotch moves forward to stand in front of me.  
“Stand,” He says, but in a softer tone. I do so, using my hands to shield my face from Aaron. He embraces me, and I fully start sobbing then, feeling the safety of his arms. My hands move from my face to curl up on his chest, grabbing his suit shirt in my fists and holding onto it.  
“You’re safe, baby girl,” Aaron whispers in my ear, his breath hot on my neck, “I’ll take care of you. Do you trust me?”  
“Yes, sir,” I sob.  
“Good. You’ll stay in here until you are calm, and then I want you to go straight home. You will take a bath using the best care items you have to relax, and then you will get lunch. Order something in so you don’t have to cook, ok? After that, watch a movie, then sleep. I will be over to your house after I leave here to make you dinner. Do you understand?”  
“B-but… Jack,” I whisper, as I think about Hotch’s child. I’ve only met Jack once, very briefly, but that child is so cute, just thinking about him makes me grow a little happier. He’s a carbon copy of his father in terms of charm, even when he isn’t trying and is so young.  
“He will be fine, he’s at his aunt’s house right now for the week. Where do you keep a spare key?”  
“Under the plant on my porch,” My sobs had died down, but tears were still streaming from my eyes.  
“Check to make sure it is still there when you get home. These are orders, sweetie, do you understand?”  
“Yes, sir,” I whisper, the tears finally slowing down.   
“Ok. What do you need right now?” He asks.   
“A hug,” I clutch Hotch tighter.  
“I’m not letting go, Y/N. We can hug for as long as you want.”  
Hotch adjusts us so he’s sitting down and I’m on his lap, straddling him. But, it wasn’t sexual, and I keep my face buried in his neck. His hand strokes my hair again, just like it did on the plane.   
‘If you ever deal with subdrop or subspace when I am around or you are alone, come to me. I will take care of you. Do you understand?’  
“I’m sorry, Aaron,” I whisper. I resist the urge to kiss his neck, barely not doing it as he places a tender kiss on my head.  
“I know. We’ll talk about it later. We still need to discuss your safeword use last time,” It seems the events had stuck in Hotch’s mind just as much as they had in mine, and he was not going to let me live it down.  
“Alright, I feel better,” I admit after a few minutes of silence, now starting to pry myself off of Hotch. I wish I could stay there forever, but I know this wonderful moment of bliss needs to end.  
“Stay here for a second. I need this,” He mumbles, burying his head in my neck this time. I use a hand to rub his back, hearing him breathe deeply.  
“Alright,” He says after what could have been an hour or just 5 minutes, “You can go now. It relaxes me to hold you like that.”  
I blush heavily, “Thank you, Aaron. I’ll follow your instructions.”  
“Trust me, it’ll help. After dinner, we can talk about whatever you want. Be a good girl and do what master said, ok?” He leans forward and places a small kiss on my lips. I’m not sure what shocks me more- him referring to himself as my master or him kissing me, but both make my heart flutter. I stare at him before I throw my arm around him, kissing him just as softly. Both of us start to put more into it as time goes on, until it progresses to Aaron holding my hips as his tongue invades my mouth, which I gladly let happen. When a knock on the door sounds, I pull away from him, looking at him shyly as we both catch our breath.   
“Sir?” I hear Garcia at the door as she waits for us to answer.  
“Alright, go home,” Hotch reluctantly lets me go, and I put my head down as I rush past Garcia.  
“Y/N, you look a little better. Wait, have you been crying?” Garcia moves her head down to try and get a peek at my face, but I turned away from her.  
“I’m going home Garcia, I’m not feeling well. I’ll text you.” She doesn’t follow me into elevator, and once the doors close with a soft clang, I collapse against the wall, barely pressing the button for the first floor. My mind swirls with the fact that Aaron had given me orders- it’s been a while since I have been dominated, and normally it was in a sexual setting before. I would have to tell him my limits, but that made me wonder if we would form a contract.  
‘Does he want me to be his submissive?’ The thought shocks me to my core like a bolt of lightning. If he does, I would not hesitate for a second to jump into the experience with him, just like I did with Brandon. But, that’s what also scares me- I have never been more willing to do anything than when I was in deep with Brandon.   
“And how did that turn out?” I let out a dry chuckle to myself, “And now I’m going crazy and talking to myself in an empty elevator.”  
My phone lights up with notification after notification, presumably from Garcia, but I ignore them. Right now, I feel so unsure that I could even manage to stay sane enough to shoot her a text, so I just decide to go home and pretend my phone doesn’t exist . A couple were from Morgan, as well as a couple from Reid, and at least twenty from Garcia. No texts from Hotch, which I realize I am thankful for. I need time to figure out everything from here.  
I know first things first I need to make it abundantly clear to Aaron I am only into sexual submission, not any other sort. While I am in subspace, sometimes I do more domestic things, but only when prompted that it will lead to sexual gratification. So, taking his every order is not something I can do, especially not with my career making me be a confident, independent person. Will he want me to quit? Will he want me to be 24/7? I am so far in my head I do not realize I am home until I put the car in park. I go to my porch, check for my spare key, then go into my house. After I take off my shoes, I look around, now fully realizing Hotch’s words. He’s coming over?   
That means I have to do chores, despite that Hotch made it clear what I’m supposed to do, and laundry was not included in the list. Should I go ahead and clean up? Or follow his instructions to a tee? I could text him…  
“It is my decision,” I muse as I debate what to do. Was it? If I followed what he said perfectly, would Hotch reward me? What would I be rewarded with?  
Finally, I override my hesitant mind and decide the best course of action is to text him.  
‘My house is a mess. Can I clean it?’   
His response is instantaneous, ‘No.’  
I stare at my phone screen in surprise. I was secretly expecting he would say yes, but my heart knew he would say no. So what should I do now?  
‘Why not?’  
‘I will do it.’  
‘No way in hell.’  
‘I don’t remember asking you. Did I not give you instructions? Nowhere in there was housework mentioned.’  
‘Whatever.’   
‘Y/N, if you do not listen, there will be punishment.’  
My face must be a sight to see. I’m a little bratty, so the idea of a punishment is something I love, although I will never admit it. But, I feel unsure if this would be too soon to get involved with that sort of action if I’m not sure about having another dom.  
‘K’ is the simple reply I settle on, and I decide to clean up anyway. Hotch is not only a romantic interest, he is my boss, and I am not going to let him think I am some sort of a slob. I pick up my clothes that are scattered around the floor of my apartment haphazardly, then went to the kitchen. I put all the dishes in my dishwasher and turn it on, looking at the various crumbs on my oven and near the microwave. I then wipe down the counters, and while I have some energy, I jump at the chance to do some laundry. This is the first time in a while I feel on top of my game, and I jump at the chance to do some of the housework I pretended hadn’t existed for the past two months. I finally look around, feeling satisfied with my clean apartment, and then head to my room to complete Hotch’s list.   
The bath gives me the time I need to relax and decompress by reading a book on my phone. I use my Himylaian pink bath salt liberally, a little bit of bubble bath solution, and a few drops of lavender essential oil. I almost fall asleep in the bath, but I get out before I did to avoid waking up a shriveled prune. I order some chinese food, and eat it on my couch while watching more Supernatural. I am absolutely addicted, I realize as I shove pieces of chicken into my mouth. But I smile still. Eventually, I drift off to sleep, the sounds of Sam and Dean fighting in the background lulling me to peace.

I’m awakened a few hours later by the sound of my door opening. At first, I start to get up, my heart already pounding at the thought of an intruder, but then I remember Hotch said he would be coming by, so I stay on the couch, turning back on the TV which had turned itself off. I start to absentmindedly scroll through Netflix, finding many suggestions but none that caught my interest. Sounds of Aaron moving around fill my ears, and after a minute or two he sits next to me on the couch, gingerly moving my legs and putting them back on his lap when he’s settled.  
“How are you feeling, sweetie?” He asks. His hand is rubbing my legs tenderly, but that slips my mind as I stare at his attire in shock. He is surprisingly wearing casual clothes- a simple pair of jeans and a black v-neck shirt. This is the first time I’ve seen him in clothes like this, and he looks sinfully good in them. It makes me want to jump his bones immediately, but I know if I do, it won’t end well.  
“Uhh…” I stare at him as I tried to collect my thoughts from the puddle on the floor they had become, and after a few seconds, he smiles at me.  
“What, never seen me like this?”  
“No, I… thought you lived in a suit,” I collect myself finally and I smile back at him.  
“Huh…” He stares at me for a few seconds silently until I worriedly look at him, starting to get up.  
“What? Aaron?” I sit up, reaching for him.  
“No, it’s just… I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you smile since…” He let the sentence hang in the air and I feel it swirl around my head, teasing me with the implications and the memories lingering in the words.  
Aaron is the one who ends the silence of our staring, and he was also the one who eased me forward until our lips met. Once again, it starts out hesitant and very tender, but Aaron quickly uses his hands to cradle my face, deepening the kiss as his tongue explores my mouth. He starts to lean forward more, so I move to straddle his hips. His hands land on my hips with a bruising grip that lights up my senses as we continued to kiss, my hands running through his hair. I shift on his lap, but at his groan, I realized the reason his lap was getting smaller. I smirk into the kiss, rolling my hips on him again, resulting in him removing one of his hands from my hips and putting it in my hair. He grasps the roots and pulls my head back, moving his lips to my neck, where he immediately starts to nip and kiss all around, leaving me what is sure to be spotted sensitive skin. At my collarbone, he sucks what is sure to be a hickey.   
“You like my kisses?” He asks, moving his hands up under my shirt to just under my breasts. His voice is husky and makes me whimper.   
“Yes,” I breathe, pulling Aaron back into my lips. After some more heated kisses, where I continue to roll my hips against his bulge, he pulls back reluctantly.  
“We should stop. You need to eat,” He groans, putting his forehead on mine as I snake my hand down to rub him through his jeans.  
“Why?” I pout, feeling every bit the brat I was acting like.  
“Because I said so,” Aaron growls, pulling my hair again. One of his hands move away from me, only to land a hard smack on my ass a second later. I gasp, feeling a shock go through my core at the sudden bite my skin gets.  
“Aaron…” I whine.  
“Get up,” He demands. I shook my head and continue to rub him. I want to make him feel good. That is my purpose. Why isn’t he letting me do that?  
“I said… Get up!” He growls again, smacking me with what felt like all his strength on the same cheek.  
I cry out, reluctantly getting up and crossing my arms over my chest. Hotch follows quickly, pulling me into a hug.  
“Well, you can stay here and I’ll call you when dinner’s ready, or you can come and stay at the table while I make it.”  
“I can help,” I suggest, but before I even finish the sentence, Aaron is shaking his head.   
“No, no you will not.”   
“Yes, I will. You are a guest, I’m not letting you make me dinner in my own home, Aaron.” I argue, following him into the kitchen.   
“No.”  
“This is my home, Aaron. If I want to help you, I will help. You have no say in it.”  
Before I have the chance to stop my mouth from running away, Aaron has me up against the fridge, pinning me down with his arms.  
“I have no say? Are you sure?” Aaron’s face is glowing dangerously in the best way. His eyes burn with something that made me weak, just like the first time I had heard him talk. His chest heaves as he forces my legs apart with his knee.  
“What are your safewords?” He whispers in my ear as he teases my neck with nibbles.  
“Green, yellow, and red,” I gasp, bucking into his leg. He lets out a little tsk, moving his leg away a little.  
“Good girl. Now, I don’t have a say? Who was the one who told you to come home? You listened, you were a good girl. But now you’re being bad. You gonna give sir a hard time, hmm?” He nibbled on my ear.  
“No,” I breathe.  
“No, what?” Hotch tightens his grip on my hands and angles his knee so I could rub against him. He slowly moves it, enough for me to know something is going on but not nearly enough to find it pleasurable.  
“No, sir,” I finally concede, feeling the pleasure course through me of how Hotch was pushing all of my buttons perfectly.  
“Good girl,” He croones, shifting his hands so one of them was free and he was holding both of my wrists in one hand. His other hand traced my sides, using his finger to lightly flick over my nipple. My breath catches in my throat as he flicked over it again.  
“Now, I don’t want to go too fast, and I know we have a lot to discuss, but you look ravishing in these pajamas,” He motions to my shorts and crop top with only underwear on underneath with a little grin.  
“I have safewords, I’ll stop you if I need to,” I try to ease his concern, knowing the safety measures in place will keep me safe.  
“I know. Are you sure you want this?” Aaron’s eyes search my face.  
“Yes, Aaron. If I didn’t, I would have stopped you in your office. I promise it’s ok.”  
“To your bedroom, then,” Hotch keeps holding my wrists as he walks ahead of me to where my bedroom door was open to show my bed.   
“Finally,” I joke.  
Instead of responding, Aaron pushes me onto my bed, making me let out a squeak.  
“I'm sorry, did you say something?” He has a trace of a smirk on his face and it heats me up. I squirm as he stands at the foot of my bed, his eyes admiring every part of my body.  
“You have been such a pain for me. Since that time on the plane, I cannot stop thinking about you,” Aaron admits softly, getting on the bed on top of me.  
“Me either,” I follow, pulling him in for another kiss. This kiss progresses faster than previous ones, and soon Aarons hands are under my tank top, massaging my breasts carefully.  
“More… Please…” I beg, my hand going back down to his bulge as I rub across it.  
“Hhm? Are you going to be a good girl and listen?” Hotch eases my tank top off and stares at my breasts, finally lowering his mouth to a bud and kissing it.  
“Yes, sir,” I say, using my hand to rub his hair. It feels good, but more comforting than pleasurable.   
“But you didn’t listen, sweetie. I was ready to take care of you. I told you not to clean or worry, and you disobeyed,” Hotch lets out a tut as his hand moves down to slip under my shorts and above my underwear. He softly strokes me with the pads of his fingers, making me sigh.  
“Aaron…” I groan.  
“Why?”  
“I don’t know the limits yet,” I supply, making Hotch freeze.   
“You’re right,” He says, a crestfallen look settling on his face. He looks upset, but I can tell he’s internalizing it to be his fault, when really it isn’t anyone’s.   
“Aaron, if you want, we can discuss them instead. I want to do this right,” I finally tell him, ignoring the throbbing in my core and my almost naked state. It killed me, but an important conversation like this needed to happen, especially in a BDSM setting.  
“I'm sorry, Y/N. I got ahead of myself,” Hotch seemed withdrawn now, and I find myself wishing I hadn’t said anything, despite knowing how important it was.  
“We can always talk about limits later. A one-off session just needs a safeword, baby,” I climb on Aarons lap and kiss him sweetly, not pressuring him, but knowing that I want him to understand how much I want it and was comfortable.   
“I know… But, Y/N, I want you to know how I feel,” He confesses, looking down.  
“So tell me. How do you feel?” I soften my voice and stroke his face once softly, trying to show him I take this seriously. He turns his head towards it a fraction, but it seems to be an involuntary response from him.  
“I want to be with you. I feel something… different about you than the rest of the team. I haven’t felt it in a long time, since Haley, and now I feel like I’m addicted to you. I want all of you. We can work out the rest from there,” Aaron doesn’t look me in my eyes once, but his eyes capture me more than his words. Everything is swirling in a tornado of emotions, everything with an undercurrent of… rage?  
“Where is this anger coming from?” I motion to his eyes, shrinking. I remember a case last week where Hotch looked at the unsub like that, and I see Brenden’s contorted face on his. I shiver at the remembrance of my ex-boyfriend.  
“I’m frustrated with myself for this situation and not dealing with it sooner. I thought if I didn’t interact with you as much, the feelings would go away. I don’t want you to be in danger. But I’m not angry at you, I promise,” Aaron finally looks at me, his eyes softening to convince me once he sees how withdrawn I am.  
“So you… want me to be your... submissive?”  
“Yes, but I also want more than that, Y/N. Since you’ve gotten here, you’ve barely said anything about you. I want to know you. The real Y/N/N.”  
“I don’t know if you’ll like what you see,” I admit softly, climbing off of his lap and putting my tank top back on.  
“So let’s have dinner. I’ll tell you anything you want to know about me. And once you’re ready, you can tell me whatever you want about you, even something small. I’ll listen,” He puts his hand on my knee comfortingly, giving it a small squeeze.  
“Ok,” I breathed.  
“Ok. Come on,” Aaron leads me back to the kitchen slowly, the sex we were about to do long forgotten in favor of making a real connection. He sits me down at the table, then flutters about my kitchen, orienting himself so he knows where everything was. Once he is acquainted, he takes out some vegetables from the green grocery cloth bag that was on the counter.   
“Do you cook often?” I wonder aloud. Aaron’s movements are so fluid and smooth, I feel myself get lost in watching him.  
“Almost every night for Jack and I. But takeout comes to the rescue once in a while.”  
I jump up, “then why are you doing it for me? Why didn’t you say something, Aaron?”  
“Because I want to,” Aaron quiets me with a tender kiss and a hand pushing me to sit back down gently, “These past two months have broken you, sweetie. I’m happy to pick up the pieces.”  
“I just… I hadn’t realized how much I needed it again until you did it. It made me calm again,” I admit, playing with my hands as I fidget in the wooden chair. Hotch places a kiss on the crown of my head, so light I barely feel it, then goes back to cooking.  
“It was the same for me. It felt so nice to have someone depend on me again like that.”  
A comfortable sIlence falls over the kitchen for a few seconds, until I got my phone, which was magically still in my pocket, out and started playing games on it. Time seems to pass quickly- I thought it was only 5 minutes, but as I look at the time, I realize I had been playing stupid games close to half an hour.  
“Dinner’s almost ready. You wash your hands already?” Aaron turns to look at me as I put my phone away, knowing I didn’t.  
I shake my head, moving to the kitchen sink. As I dry my hands using a rag, Hotch puts his arms around my waist, starting to kiss my neck from behind. I move my head so he had more space to kiss, and he does so eagerly. I stroke his head, revelling in the quiet moment we are sharing and unwilling to end it.  
“I hope you like salmon,” Aaron murmurs against my neck.  
“Mmh, salmon. Sexy,” I laugh as he finishes, going to sit down in front of one of the plates now on the table.  
“Just wait until you taste the mashed potatoes, then,” The jokes flow easy between us, a smirk playing on Aaron’s face as I laugh and relax for the first time in a while. We settle down and start eating, the first couple of minutes comfortably quiet between us.   
“When I was a kid, I never got why people wanted to grow up,” Hotch says randomly, skewering a green bean with his fork and eating it after his declaration.  
“What?” I giggle incredulously.  
“You have to pay money, worry about stuff. I would have loved to stay 17 forever.”  
“I wouldn’t. Turning 18 was a blessing,” I say without thinking.  
“Why?”  
“My home life… wasn’t the best. I’d prefer not to talk about it,” I say, looking down at my plate. I pray Aaron doesn’t push it, and thankfully he doesn’t.  
“Ok. Are you liking the salmon?”   
“Yeah,” I still look down at my plate, inspecting the mashed potatoes like they hold the key to eternal life.  
“Does this have to do with whatever happened on the plane?” Aaron reaches for my hand and he holds it tenderly.  
I nod, tears starting to cloud my vision and stream down my cheeks.  
“Eat one more bite for me, beautiful, then we can go lay down,” He coaxes. I do, and he collects my almost done plate and his empty one.  
“Good girl,” He smiles, leading me to my bedroom.  
“Aaron… I want to make something clear.” I manage to get out.  
“What?” He sits down beside me on the comforter.  
“I’m not interested at all in 24/7. Submission is purely sexual for me,” I hold his hand.  
“Ok. Same for me,” He says.  
“I don’t want you to think I am less than you. I worked hard to get where I am as an agent.”  
“Are you worried I will take advantage of your submission?” He inspects me as I don’t meet his eye, and my silence seems to answer his question.  
“Your submission is a gift, Y/N. One I will always cherish. I will never ruin that.”  
“I know. I just sometimes… get a little worried,” I admit, feeling the tension in my shoulders as I think of Brenden. 

He told me the same thing.

“You had a bad experience, didn’t you?” Hotch asks in a gentle tone like he already knows the answer, which of course he does. It occurs to me that nothing slips past that man, and it makes me shiver with fear.  
“Please don’t profile me,” I beg, letting go of his hand.  
“I didn’t need to. You are trembling, sweetheart, and you look scared to death.”  
“Red,” Is the word that comes tumbling out of my mouth as I wrap my arms around myself, but lean against him. I can feel my brain shutting down and the only thing I can think of is my safeword.  
“Red,” Hotch agrees, pulling me to him. We stay silent until I stop shaking, but tears continue to stream down my cheek.  
“I’m scared,” I admit quietly.  
“And that’s ok. Giving yourself to someone is scary. But we will make our contract and I will never hurt you, sweetheart. Do you hear me? As your friend, boss, and partner, I will never treat you like that,” He grabs my chin and makes me look at him while he keeps his voice soft and gentle.   
“Aaron,” I sigh, burying myself in his chest. I would feel embarrassed, but my head is too overrun with memories of Brenden for me to care. I’ll apologize later.  
“Come on, let’s get to bed. Get comfortable, I’ll go check the locks,” I nod reluctantly and do as Hotch said. He comes back a few minutes later, holding a glass of water to put on my bedside table.   
“Are you comfortable?”  
I nod and make grabby hands towards him, “Aaron.”   
He settles beside me, and we move into a spooning position. I am the little spoon, and I feel Hotch sprinkle little kisses all over my neck.  
“You are the only one to call me that. I like how it sounds when you say it,” he says in a whisper, and it feels like he’s smiling against my neck. I turn around and kiss him, wrapping my hands around his neck. We absorb each other as we mold our lips together, this kiss less exploratory and more tender.   
“I never thought this would happen,” Aaron murmured as he moved his kisses to my neck.  
“Me either,” I agreed.   
“But I’m glad it did.”

I suck at endings, sorry.


	3. Chapter 3

“What are we going to tell the team, Aaron?” My voice sounds hesitant even to my own ears the next morning. I don’t want to break the peace we have from a wonderful breakfast talking and laughing together, but the question has been on my mind ever since the plane two months ago, and it was now eating me up as I tried to not panic. I had just gotten this job and I loved it, I loved the team, and I was starting to love Aaron the more we interacted and talked. It kills me to think of having to leave.  
“I don’t see why we have to hide it. The only issue would be Strauss. It’s not against any rules, but there is a conflict of interest she would be mildly concerned with,” Hotch is at the sink, washing the dishes from the breakfast we had just shared. He’s facing away from me, leaving me to admire his back and shoulders I could make out under his shirt.  
“But what would the team think?”  
“I don’t think they would be too surprised. We are profilers, after all, and no matter how much we promise not to profile each other, someone was bound to notice something between us. Something has been here since we met, even I could feel it,” Aaron finishes the dishes, then comes over to sit with me at the table. He kisses the top of my head before sitting, grabbing my hand in comfort.  
“I know, but I would like to keep it private for now. I’m just not comfortable yet,” I begrudgingly acknowledge the truth in his words.   
“Ok. How about let’s take things slow for now. We’re getting to know each other more intimately, and I’m helping you when you have subdrop.”  
“That’s it?” I look at the wood table, inspecting it as I feel my heart throb. I know it is unfair to be so hurt in this whole complicated relationship, but it feels like I have known Aaron for way longer than I actually have, and him downplaying everything is a stab through me.  
“No, but if it makes you feel better you can pretend,” Aaron grabs my chin, guiding my head until I am looking at him. He kisses me tenderly but quickly, making me smile.  
“I want to be your everything, but I’m scared it’s too soon and this is new,” I admit.  
“Would a contract help? I have an old one we can negotiate for the BDSM side of us,” he threads his hands through my hair, scooting his chair closer.   
“Yes please,” I sigh, kissing Aaron again. His hands tighten in my hair, making me whimper. Aaron’s lips are different from anyone else’s i've kissed- they are soft, but searing as they take over mine. Hotch’s tongue is tender but demanding as it explores my mouth.  
“Aaron,” I sigh as he moves his lips to my neck.   
“You need something?” He teases, “I'm kind of busy here.”  
“I need you. Fuck the contract,” I breathe, pulling him pack up to my lips. I kiss him fiercely, trying to tell him the desperation, but hesitation, I feel without saying anything.   
“Are you sure?” He pulls away long enough to ask.  
“Never been more sure,” I insist, guiding my hands up his back and to his neck, which I kiss eagerly.  
“You are killing me here,” He groans as I straddle him on the chair.  
“Bedroom, then,” I giggle, getting up and guiding Hotch down my hall. As we walk, Hotch’s hands wander over my abdomen and to my ass, pushing me a little as I gasp and laugh.  
When we reach the bedroom, Hotch takes my head in his hands and kisses me, sitting down and pulling me on top of him.   
“You like this?” Hotch asks.  
“Yes,” I breathe as he moves his kisses to my neck.  
“Yes…” His voice is hard and it makes me melt.  
“Yes sir,” I say, grinding down on him.  
“Good girl… Tell me what you like,”   
“Uhh…” I hesitate.  
“Don’t get shy on me now, baby girl. Safe space, ok?”  
“I like… praise… Oral… spanking…” I am by no means shy about what I like, but for some reason Hotch made me turn into a blushing schoolgirl. I could barely tell him what I wanted without wanting to curl up into a ball and hide my reddening face.   
“You want me to spank you and tell you how good you are to me?” Hotch questions with a smirk as he kisses my neck.   
“Yes please,” I finally moan.   
“I’ll do that, but only after I make you cum with my tongue,” Hotch growls, moving me off his lap and onto the bed. He eases the large sleep shirt off of me, leaving me in only my panties. His hands run down my sides slowly, one grabbing my hips as his mouth traced over the swell of my right breast. His other hand carefully circle my left one, clutching it but not painfully. Aaron’s mouth moves to encircle my nipple, making me sigh and move my head back. His other hand moves closer and closer to my panties until it is teasing around my lips over my panties and making me squirm.   
“Please…” I say, not entirely sure what I’m begging for.  
“Ssh, I’ll take care of you,” Hotch says, his fingers pinching me softly.  
“I know, but… Please sir,” I beg again.  
“I know… you want me to touch you?”  
I nod at Aaron’s cooing tone.  
“Where, sweet girl?”  
“My…” I hesitate heavily.  
“Come on… tell sir.”  
“My… pussy, sir,” I finally whispered.  
“Good girl!” Hotch sounded so sincere and proud, it made me tear up. He mouths down my stomach slowly, making me squirm as he approached my heat. He teased around my panties, until finally he eases them off. Once they were gone, I open my legs slowly, showing him everything.  
“There it is… Such a pretty pussy…” Aaron coos again, making me smile shyly. His hands moved my legs wider and wider, until I couldn’t stretch them out anymore.   
“What am I going to do with you? A horny little girl, all to myself. I could leave you here, begging for me but unable to relieve yourself,” Hotch casually mentions.   
My eyes widen and my body goes stiff at the thought of being left, “No! No, sir, please don’t!” Tears well up in my eyes as I start to panic. It reminds me of when Brenden did that very thing, tying me up to an electro-machine until the shocks made me scream each time. It was the worst thing he had ever done to me, and I still remember it vividly- a frequent nightmare that had been appearing ever since. The memories come back and make my body jolt, as if remembering the pain and going through it again, but I remind myself this is Aaron, not Brenden. I am not crying, but I definitely am now tense, so when Aaron tries to put his hand on my cheek, I turn my head, shaking it off.  
“Yellow, sweetheart. Look at me,” Aaron is firm, but I can hear the concern practically radiating off his words as he speaks them.  
“Don’t leave, please, Aaron!” I cry, shutting my legs and crossing my arms over my chest.   
“Ok, no leaving. I promise I won’t leave you,” Hotch says. As time goes on, he touches me more and more, always giving me the opportunity to reject his advances. But, I do the opposite, eventually crawling into his lap and letting him embrace me fully. He doesn’t really speak, but instead just gently lets out ‘sshh’s’ every once in a while. Eventually, despite us waking up only a couple hours prior, I feel my eyelids grow heavy. Hotch notices, and he gently shifts us until we are under my covers. I am naked, but I don’t feel vulnerable, as Hotch makes sure to not be too touchy or pervy, but instead actually takes off his shirt so we are a little more even.   
“I’ll stay here,” He whispers to me, and I manage a nod.  
“Aaron…” I sigh, cuddling up to him more, if that was even possible.  
“You’re safe, sweetheart. I promise,” A tender kiss on the crown of my head makes me let out a noise that is practically a preen, and I drift off slowly to a nice sleep. 

I am awakened some time later by a weird sensation between my legs. My dream had been of Aaron and I continuing with our scene, and I thought I was just wet until a kitten lick made me jump. I rip off the covers only to see Aaron’s face smirking up at me with a mischievous glint in his eye. His bottom half is on the floor, and his torso is bent over. I am towards the bottom of the bed, meaning Aaron had shifted me down there.  
“Aaron, what are you…” I trail off as he licks his tongue quickly over my lips.  
“You said you wanted me to lick your pussy, right?” He says rhetorically, “And I plan to.”  
“But… the scene… I ruined it,” I whisper. Hotch’s eyebrows furrow, and he crawls up to me, planting a sweet kiss on my lips.  
“You didn’t ruin anything, sweetheart. You just needed a break, and now I know a hard limit of yours. So, we move forward. Unless you want to stop?” Doubt flickers over Hotch’s face, making me immediately decide what to do.  
“No, I want to, if you will have me… sir,” I say, starting the scene officially.   
“There’s my sweet little girl,” Aaron smiled, his eyes growing darker.  
My eyes flutter as I soak in the praise he gives me. Aaron kisses my neck, then nibbles on my collarbones. After he kisses around my breasts, I finally get the message and ask, “Sir, will you please play with my nipples?”  
“Aah, you caught on… Since you asked so nicely…” Hotch is serious, but still playful as I see his cock starting to tent his pants. His tongue licks first, then his mouth dives in and sucks on my nipples making me arch my back.  
“Beg me,” Hotch growls for a moment after detaching himself from my nipple, before reattaching.  
“Please sir, please lick my… pussy,” I finally beg, feeling awkward.  
“Good girl… We’ll work on that. Nothing makes me hotter than my sweet girl talking like a slut,” Hotch’s rough tone continues, making me groan as he kisses down my belly. He peels my legs apart, placing kisses on the creases between my legs and vagina. Finally, his kisses get closer, and I revel in his attention.   
“Please, sir…” I feel my wetness start to become uncomfortable as Aaron kisses over my lips.  
“Hmm?” Aaron smirks up at me as he peels my lips apart, “Aah, that’s a wet pussy, and all for me.”  
“Yes sir, all for you… All for you sir,” I moan as he gives one slow and steady lick up the entirety of my entrance and clit.  
“All for me? So thoughtful… How should I reward my baby girl?” He pretends to think as he brings his thumb to brush over my clit.  
I stay quiet as I stare down at him. My mind is barely comprehending that Aaron, the man who has been the subject of my wet dreams ever since I met him, is finally with me in such a vulnerable position.   
“You with me, sweetheart?” Aaron’s voice brings me back, and I find he has already sunk one finger in me without me realising.  
“Yes, sorry sir,” I say, realizing why I hadn’t felt anything. My g-spot has been something I’ve never able to find with my fingers, and with toys I always just stick them in and then let them stay there while I seek clitoral stimulation, “I should mention I don’t have a g-spot.”  
“You don’t have one?” Aaron’s eyebrows shoot up to practically at his hairline, and I blush, starting to shy away from him a little, but once he notices how I react, he mends his statement, “No, it’s not a bad thing, I just don’t think you’re right. I think you’ve never found it, and it’s not as sensitive as other women who can come from penetration alone. I know you have one, it’s anatomy, but the way you said it so frankly just surprised me.”  
“Oh,” I still blush as I feel ashamed for not knowing my body, “Whenever I tried, I couldn’t find it, so I just use a vibrator.”  
“You have a vibrator?” I knew as soon as Aaron’s smirk on his face grew I shouldn’t have mentioned it, “Where?”  
“Second drawer of the nightstand,” I admit.  
“Hands above your head. You don’t happen to have rope in there, do you?”  
I shook my head, “No, but I do have some somewhere in the laundry room.”  
“Stay with your legs spread and hands like that. I’ll be back with it. Is that ok?”  
I hesitate, but nod finally. Since this isn’t as intense yet and I’m not tied up, I feel more comfortable. With how Hotch handled me the past couple of hours, him leaving isn’t as daunting as it was before.  
“Are you sure, sweetheart? You can move if you start to panic, but I would like it if you could stay there,” His caring switch makes me smile.  
“I’ll be fine, Aaron. I promise.”  
“Ok. I will be right back,” He promises as he puts the vibrator next to me on the bed. I stay quiet for about ten seconds before I get bored, and a wicked idea pops into my head. I grin, the vibrator being in my hand within seconds as I formulate how I want to do this. I decide to bend my knees, letting then fall onto the bed in a sort of butterfly laying down position. I click the vibrator on, immediately feeling a rush as I hear the all-too-familiar sound. My grin grows as I bring it down to my pussy, letting it rest over my already throbbing clit. I normally am not loud when I’m alone, but I force myself to moan so Aaron can hear it. I know it’s working as I hear footsteps only about thirty seconds after I start. The door is open, so I have no doubt Aaron heard me from the beginning and rushed finding the rope. When he opens the door, his eyes are blazing and he looks absolutely dangerous.  
“What’s this? You wanted to start without me?” Hotch asks, his voice just a growl.  
“No, daddy,” I test, and I feel a thrill as I see Aaron’s growing erection.  
“Don’t lie, baby girl. You already are in big trouble with this stunt you wanted to pull. I will ask you one more time. What were you doing?”  
“I was… playing with myself,” I say, looking down as I sit up and pull my knees to my chest.   
“You were playing? With what?” His eyes glint as he pushes me.  
“My… pussy, sir,” I admit, feeling a little more comfortable talking dirty now.  
“Whose?”  
“Yours, sir!” I jump to correct myself.  
“Good girl. You know what? I want you on all fours, ass to me,” Aaron says casually, and I scramble to to follow. Once I am done moving, Aaron moves to the front of my body and takes my hands, tying them up with the soft purple rope.  
“Color?” He asks as he inserts two fingers into my bonds. He inspects the knot once more as well, and once he is satisfied he turns to my to wait for my answer.  
I take a second, only because I am truly assessing how I feel, but find I am completely comfortable, so I answer, “Green, daddy.”  
“Good. What are your safewords?” He smiles at me but his eyes are still dangerous. Somehow, this doesn’t scare me at all. Instead, I feel excited at the idea of him playing with me.  
“Green for good, yellow for approaching my limit or stop for a second, and red for total stop,” I breath as Hotch trails his hands back down to my midsection.  
“Now, what am I going to do with you?” I was on my elbows, but Hotch pushes me down so my face is on the mattress and my hands, still tied, are in front of me, extended. I let out a surprised sound, but that turns into a moan as Hotch’s fingers reach my clit and stroke it.  
“Thank you, sir,” I moan. My back is arched, and I know in this position anything that happens will be magnified. Positions like this always make me feel vulnerable, but in a good way.   
“Love when you thank me for things, makes me feel so damn good,” He growls, and I feel his tongue start to explore. It first swirls over my clit a few times, before snaking to my entrance and starting to breach it. Before he gets more than the tip in, he exits again, moving further up to quickly lick my...  
“Aaron!” I yelp, lurching a little as his tongue glides gently over my asshole. He chuckles against my pussy as he darts back down, sending vibrations throughout me, like a vibrator, but more intense. I moan again, feeling my hips start to move. Aaron’s hands move up to steady them so I can’t grind back, and his mouth attaches to my clit and starts sucking. Right when I get used to the sucking, Aaron’s tongue starts moving and his lips release, making me jolt at the new sensation. He keeps doing this so I am always not able to expect what I feel, and this keeps me on edge and tense. At one point, Aaron whispers at me to relax as he pauses and massages my hips.  
“You are really tense… Green?”   
“Green, daddy… Please, I want to cum,” I moan in frustration at how he kept stopping. I had never had another dom play my body so flawlessly like this. Aaron was a natural at winding me up deliciously, and this wasn’t even an official scene with a contract in place. I felt our hearts mend as we worked around each other and it made me feel so drunk off of submission, I had to ground myself by clutching the sheets of my bed in my fists.  
“Y/N, are you sure you are ok?” He asked as he saw the tears starting to spill from my eyes.  
“Yes, I just feel… complicated. I’m green, I promise,” I say, my voice not wavering at all. That must have convinced him, because he nods, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my left cheek.   
“You taste divine, sweetheart. Such a sweet pussy. You want me to make you cum?” He coos, his voice making me feel warm inside.  
“Yes daddy,” I moan, “Please make your pussy cum.”  
“Such a foul-mouthed girl,” He growls, landing a quick slap on my ass. I cry out and jump forward even as I feel myself grow wetter.  
“More, please daddy.”  
“Then count,” He amends as I follow his direction. His hands are brutal and I know I will end up with wonderful colors of red and purple on my ass by the end. He alternates cheeks until he reaches 17, then he lands three at the same time in quick succession on each cheek.  
I cry out, “18, 19, 20, daddy!” I really feel myself sink into the bed then, the floaty feeling of semi-sub-space returning.  
“Green, baby girl?” He asks, and I feel him grind against me so sharp sensations of pain flood my brain.  
“Green, thank you, daddy,” I moan.  
“Ok, now you will cum for me,” I feel him move and his breathe is on my lips again, “You are so wet it’s over your thighs,” He scoops up some of it from my right thigh and holds his fingers to my lips, which I take in eagerly, sucking them for my life.  
“That’s right, work it like it’s daddy’s cock,” He coos, keeping his hand in my mouth as his finger traces my clit, circling it with feather touches.   
“Such a good girl for me, thanking me and counting. Now, daddy’s going to give his best girl a reward. You want that?”  
I moan and nod around his fingers eagerly.  
“Good,” He smirks, as his mouth dived in once more to feast on my pussy.   
“Thank you daddy,” I moan, relaxing as best I could. I finally started to feel my pulse quicken as I got closer and closer to orgasm.  
“Give daddy your cum, sweetheart, all over my face,” He growls, nipping my thigh. His fingers pump in and out, curled slightly, but wiggling against my walls as he tries to find my g-spot. It feels alright, but it is when he reattaches his mouth to my clit that I feel myself start to climb to orgasm.  
“Daddy, may I please cum?” I practically beg as I reach the peak.  
“I’ll give you a countdown, sweetheart, then you can. 5…” His thumb goes back to my clit and flicks it as his hand then continues to spank me.  
“Please daddy, I can’t hold it,” I start to tear up.  
“Yes you can… 4… 3…” He doesn’t stop it, but he speeds up the count as he realizes I really can’t, “2, 1. Cum for daddy, sweetheart, cum for me.”  
I moan as I finally come, feeling myself grow wetter as I exploded on Hotch’s tongue as he reattaches it to me. He works me through my orgasm with kitten licks all over until the waves die down.   
“Good girl…” Hotch mutters as his hands massage my shoulder knots.  
“Aaron…” As soon as I am untied, I flip over and grab him, pulling him down so I can kiss him. My kisses are hard and rough, but he calms me down with his soft and tender ones. My hand goes to his bulge, but before I can start to really rub it, his hand grabs my wrist.  
“No, not now. That was for you, sweetheart, and if you regret it, we shouldn’t go further,” Hesitation seeps into Aaron’s tone, and as much as I want to please him like he did me, I know I need to be respectful. So, I nod and cuddle up to his still-bare chest, basking in the after-orgasm effects, despite me knowing I won’t regret what just happened- ever.  
“You feel ok? Do you want food, or water?” His hand strokes my hair carefully, almost like it will break.  
“No, I want cuddles,” I sigh, pulling the covers up over us.   
“Sounds good. You did very well, sweetheart. So good for me.” A kiss tenderly on my head, and I feel a deep satisfaction settle over me like none other. Not even Brenden made me feel this happy, and I bask in it.  
“Good Aaron, too,” I grin, feeling light.  
“Thank you, baby. Tell me about you- anything you want,” And with that, Aaron lets me talk as he patiently listens. I eventually branch out from basic facts, sharing funny childhood stories and my experiences since moving to the Quantico area. Sleep is far from my mind as we laugh together, often stopping to tenderly kiss or stroke the others arm or chest.  
“This is bliss,” I finally sigh.  
“Definitely. How about we go out to dinner tomorrow night?”  
“Sure,” I agree easily, already feeling giddy, “But there’s only one problem.”  
His eyebrows shoot up and he looks concerned instantly, “Really? What?”  
“I don’t want you to leave until then,” I straddle him again, clinging to him like a koala bear.  
“Hmm… That is a problem,” He pretends to think for a second as I giggle.  
“How are we going to solve it, daddy?” I ask.  
“I think I just have to not leave. That’s the only solution I can think of,” He teases me lightly.  
“Oh, good idea,” I agree in a serious tone.  
“Only the best from me, of course,” He nods.  
We joke a little more, but eventually I quiet down until we just hold each other. His hand is trailing all over my back- first tracing my spine, then massaging a shoulder, then the other one, until he is tracing patterns into my lower back. My hands are on his shoulders, my thumbs rubbing carefully as they move back and forth a few centimeters.  
“Aaron?”  
“Hmm?”  
“I’m sorry for being so stubborn. I should’ve asked for help with my drop. I just… didn’t want you to think less of me. And I wasn’t sure about what we would be if I did.”  
“That’s certainly reasonable. I understand, I really do. That’s why I won’t punish you.”  
I sigh, the worry and anxiety immediately decreasing exponentially, “Thank you, Aaron.”  
“But-” And I tense all over again as he keeps speaking, “I do not want that to ever happen again. And if it does, that is when I will punish you. You were putting yourself at risk by being unfocused, and that could’ve seriously cost all of us on the field.”  
“I know,” I say, as I really consider his words. He was right, of course, and I shivered to think of the consequences he was vaguely implying.  
“But that’s done with. You want to take a shower? I don’t think we should go back to sleep for a while.”  
“Uhh… Sure, that sounds good. You don’t mean… both of us, right?” I blush, despite the past half hour.  
“No, just you. I figured you could use some time. Some subs need time after a scene like that after as long of a dry period as you had.”  
I can’t help but shake my head in disbelief at the utter care and kindness he was exhibiting towards me. I knew it wasn’t completely out of character, but normally it wasn’t as blatant as this. It was… sweet. Strange.  
“Hey, Y/N,” Hotch gently prompts, putting his hand on my cheek.  
“Oh, sorry. Just thinking,” I snap myself out of my comparison of my current and previous lover and got up, running to the shower. Once I was inside of the bathroom, I sigh, pressing my back against the door as I recovered.   
My shower takes a short amount of time as I only washed my body, and I walk out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped securely around me. Aaron still has his shirt off, giving me a wonderful view of his strong back as he straightens up the bed.  
“What happened before? Did I say something wrong?” He looks up when I walk out.  
“No, not at all, Aaron, I was just… thinking of how different you are from my… previous dom,” I say carefully.  
“I hope I’m better,” He said jokingly, but I can see the question in his eyes.  
“Much better,” I say, pecking his cheek as I walk by him to get to my clothes. I go for a comfortable outfit of leggings and an oversized sweater that makes me feel cute.  
“So I was thinking we should get something to eat for lunch. Do you want to go out or stay in?” He asks, finishing up on the bed.  
“We could have a lazy day, order some takeout or something,” I suggest.  
“Sounds good. Both of us took a vacation day, so there shouldn’t be any issues with us staying here today.”  
As Hotch finished talking, my phone rang out, and Hotch’s did too.  
“I think you jinxed it,” I narrow my eyes at him with a smile.  
“I think I did,” He answers his phone, and I left the room to answer mine.  
“You can tell me the story of you and Hotch later, but right now there is a case, sweetheart,” Garcia immediately starts talking as soon as I answer the call, and I laugh nervously.  
“Please just… keep it quiet. I really don’t want the whole team to know yet,” I frown, becoming serious now, letting Garcia know how genuine I am being.  
“Ok, I promise, sweetie. I’m sorry, did something happen?”  
“No, I just… want to get to know Aaron more before we announce it to the team.”  
“Got it. Anyway, there’s a case that came up, a pretty bad one, so Strauss is requesting both of you to come back in.”  
I sigh, “Alright, we’re on our way.”  
“Perfect.”  
I hang up with another sigh, deciding my current outfit is professional enough to go in with. It is supposed to be my day off, after all, so they can deal with me being dressed a little more comfortably than I normally am.  
“You also got called in?” Hotch asks as I walk back in my room from the hall.  
“Yup, sadly,” I grin, noticing how Hotch has his shirt back on.  
“You go ahead, I need to swing by home and get dressed. And it’ll help if we arrive separately to keep this under wraps.”  
“Aaron, I’m not trying to make you ashamed of us, and I’m not either, I just… Want to get to know you more and grow this relationship without the team breathing down our necks,” I explained, sitting on my bed.  
“I know, and it makes sense. I would never want you to be uncomfortable, so if you want to wait, I’m ok with that.” He reassures, grabbing my hand and placing a quick kiss on it.  
“Ok,” I grin, glad we communicated so flawlessly.  
“Alright, now let’s go.”

We part ways with a chaste kiss, Aaron going to his home, and me going to the office.  
“First case since we are together. Let’s see how it goes.”


End file.
